Giants in Your Marriage


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You come to me with a sword, with a spear, and with a javelin. But, I come to you in the name of the LORD!

1 Samuel 17:45

I wonder what was going through David’s mind as he approached the 9 foot giant who was packin’ heat. I’m sure inside he was terrified, but on the outside David was standing as tall as that giant. Just as David faced a giant in his life, we face giants in our own lives and specifically in marriage. I honestly do not think anyone would look to me to give marriage advice; I just know what I feel in my heart and what I’ve personally experienced.

Giants come in so many forms- finances, laundry, dinner gone badly, in laws, past relationships, time, misunderstandings… I could go on forever; we’ve all experienced these “giants.” Early on in a marriage, these giants can feel so BIG. If we could only see into the future and know that much BIGGER giants show up-miscarriages, cancer, unemployment, bankruptcy, feelings of helplessness, fear, anxiety, and depression. The giants can destroy a marriage. God intended for us to have a companion beside us to face these giants together. David had God with him the day he slew Goliath. In your marriage, you can have each other and GOD, but you have to seek God together. The more you seek God together, the closer you will become as a couple.

I’ve been married for 6 years. After the first 4 months of our marriage, we had already faced many giants. These giants were small compared to the giants we would face later, but we realized we needed help. We had made a commitment to each other and most importantly God. I thank God that my sister and brother-in-law saw that we were struggling and introduced us to Family Life- A Weekend to Remember … please take time to look into the following website: http://www.familylife.com/WeekendToRemember.
This event, along with God’s guiding hand saved our marriage. PTL!

Something that I still practice today that I learned at A Weekend to Remember is to be in constant prayer for my spouse. This may be TMI, but I love to pray when I go to the restroom. This was the most peaceful part of my day when I worked in the public sector. Sometimes I would just escape to the bathroom to get some quiet, alone time with Jesus! Since he sits on a throne, I didn’t think He’d mind me talking to Him from my porcelain throne! In quiet time, I pray for my husband. I pray that God will guide him and help him guide our family. I pray that God will give him strength. I pray that God will help me help him be a better person. Being in constant prayer for our spouses will help keep those giants away. Your spouse will feel the power of your prayer on them throughout the day- just try it!

Praise is also a huge part in keeping those giants away. Some advice I would give is picking 5 things you can use in praising your spouse. Find 5 things that your spouse does really well and focus on those things. Let’s call those 5 things our 5 Stones of Praise. Praise your spouse for how well he does those things, and show him how much you enjoy them. I’ll share my 5 stones with you!

The first stone is his obsession with mowing and weed eating the grass. Our yard always looks wonderful. I appreciate that he wants us to have a pretty lawn, and I let him know it.

The second stone is another obsession, I guess! He loves washing our cars. Now, I will tell you…our cars are not new by any means! Our cars combined are about 20-25 years old. It never fails though, every Saturday morning while I am waking up, I can hear him outside cleaning up our cars. He always makes sure I have a clean car to drive-he says they drive better when they are clean. I am so thankful for this act of kindness.

stonesThe third stone is my husband’s ability to make all of our linens smell great! Since college, we have both had a love for good smelling sheets, towels, blankets, etc. This love has passed on to my toddler- he says that Daddy washes his “blanky” in sugar! Every time I smell fresh clean linens, I know that he has washed and dried those items with love.

I must confess, I’m a little spoiled and by my fourth stone, it might be declared! Every morning, Adam wakes me up to give me a glass of water and a pill that I must take every day to basically stay alive. He wants to ensure that I’ve had my medicine for the day and that I get it early enough; so, I can eat breakfast- that is true love and something for which he should be praised.

My fifth stone is the prayers that Adam sends up on our family’s behalf. It isn’t odd for me to see Adam praying. I will often be sitting on the couch and he will hug me, lay his head on my shoulder, and I know it is then that he is praying for me. He also prays with our little boy before he falls asleep, no matter where we are.

Having these 5 stones written on a note card in your Bible, or somewhere that you will see often, will help remind you to give praise for these specific acts of kindness and thoughtfulness that he displays. The scripture tells us that “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21
Giving praise and praying for your spouse on a daily basis will assist in slaying those giants before they even arrive on the scene. Let’s be proactive. Let’s use our secret 5 Stones of Praise to slay those giants. If we come before those giants in the name of the LORD, then they have no other option than to be slain.

 

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